Low Self-Esteem And Toxic People

One surefire way to maintain a low level of self-esteem is to continue to associate with toxic people. So what are toxic people? They are the people that are poison to our lives and our environment. They drain us of our energy, our time, our money, and they can also play havoc with our minds. Toxic people can literally make you physically or mentally ill.

Take a good look at the people around you: family, friends, bosses, co-workers, and anyone else who you interact with everyday. Do you find the people in your life encouraging, supportive, and uplifting, or are they a drain? How do you feel when you're around the people in your life? If certain people make you feel bad, unattractive, or depressed, they are toxic to you.

You see, sometimes we feel bad and suffer from low self-esteem because we have surrounded ourselves with people who, consciously or unconsciously, have found a way to make us feel bad about ourselves. I believe that the most blatant example of this is a relationship with domestic violence. A woman or man most likely enters an abusive relationship because they have already had some issues with their self-esteem. However, once in the relationship, they must deal with someone who knows all the right psychological buttons to push in order to make them feel continuously bad about themselves.

Low Self-Esteem And Toxic People

In these relationships, it gets to the point where the victim starts to feel that being physically and mentally abused is somehow acceptable or deserved. They can even believe that it is often their own fault that the abuse takes place. Therefore, they stay in a relationship where they are abused, and their self-worth continues to dwindle.

More of us than would like to admit are in abusive relationships. Abuse doesn't have to be physical or overt. Anybody who makes you feel lesser, unhappy about who you are, or unworthy is not someone you should entertain in your circle of friends.

Take a long hard look at the people who you associate with everyday. Many times, our relatives are the ones who make us feel bad and rob us of our energy and feelings of self-worth. So, step back and really look at the people in your life. Instead of asking, "what is the matter with me?" you need to ask, "who is the matter with me?"

Try to associate with people who are going to make you feel good about yourself; people who are empowering and are really on your side are not going to make you feel bad about yourself. They want you to feel good. Try to hang out with people who emit positivity. If you don't have anyone who makes you feel good right now, then gradually draw yourself away from the people who are making you feel bad and enjoy some alone time while you find techniques, tools, classes, and ways of thinking that will improve your self-esteem.

As you start to feel better about yourself, you're going to naturally attract people who feel better about themselves; it's a win-win situation. You will also learn that you - and only you - hold the key to how you feel about yourself.

When trying to figure out why you may have low self-esteem, be sure to take a close look at the people in your life.

Low Self-Esteem And Toxic People
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Wambui Bahati "Miss Inspiration" is an inspirational and motivational speaker and entertainer. Her passion is reminding you of your magnificence. http://www.wambui-bahati.com/

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Sympathy Messages

The loss of a loved one. It is often difficult to find the right words to express your sympathy to someone during this time of sorrow. A floral tribute and supportive message can offer much support to those grieving such a loss. Here we list some suggestions, perhaps to inspire you as you offer your condolences with your floral tribute.

~Our deepest condolences

~With Sympathy

Sympathy Messages

~Our thoughts are with you and your family.

~In Loving Memory

~You are in our thoughts and prayers.

~Fondest remembrances

~Thinking of you and offering you hope and comfort.

~May you find peace and love in the memories you cherish.

In the weeks after...

After the initial outpouring of support, even weeks after the service, encouraging words can provide continued comfort. Consider sending a floral arrangement, a green or blooming plant, or even a gourmet or fruit basket to the family's home with a supportive message. Here are a few suggestions for you;

~Just wanted you to know you are in my thoughts

~I have been thinking of you

~Hope this brings sunshine to your day

~Let's get together soon for lunch, give me a call.

~Just as you have been for us, we are always here for you.

Overall, an uplifting and sensitive message is most comforting. Avoid words like "sad" or "I know how you feel". Messages offering your heartfelt support and friendship with your floral tribute will be appreciated. Your local florist can offer further suggestions about sending a floral tribute.

Sympathy Messages
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Tenley McDonald- Former Florist- Now Co-Owner of [http://www.flowerpowernetwork.com] (Online Directory of Real Local Florists) You can call a local florist direct! No middleman, no extra fees! Ms. McDonald has over 14 years experience in ~Consumer Relations/Marketing ~Customer Service Management ~Floral Design.

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Self Describing Skills - Key Strengths

You need to be the best you can at describing your best qualities; particularly your key strengths. In my coaching practice I generally, at some point, ask my client: "What are you good at?" purely as a means to establish if they have already thought through this most important question.

Some have, but more often they haven't and the answer usually involves lots of head-scratching, umms and arrhs and then quite often a monologue on what they're NOT good at!!

Your answer to this should be your key strengths statement which we talked about in personal marketing on my website - let me remind you.

Self Describing Skills - Key Strengths

A "Key Strengths" statement is a summary of your most powerful skills and attributes.

The Key Strengths statement
Highlights your most important skills and abilities Differentiates you from others Avoids generalisations Provides examples of your achievements Spoken naturally should take no more than two minutes

Of course at interview, the question may take many different forms:

"What are your main strengths?"

"why should we hire you?"

"what do you think makes you the best candidate?"

"convince me you're the right person for us"

"how do your skills match our particular needs?"

As with all your Presentation Statements it should be so well rehearsed that it sounds completely spontaneous.

This example I've given you here should get you thinking so give your Key Strengths statement some thought now.

"I have very good communication skills; I work well either leading or being part of a team and I am self-motivated and capable of working on several tasks at once.

As a leader of small teams I involve people in the decisions so that they feel involved and ensure they have the opportunity to contribute to tasks facing the team. I manage the information, plan and organise and make the decisions as required.

With my strong communication skills, I have been able to motivate the staff to higher standards of performance meaning we have also helped our profits figures through increased sales and tighter cost-control.

Alongside this I have encouraged innovation and my team has produced several very good ideas for new products, services and markets. As an example the new widget has taken off in Eastern Europe and is contributing 7% of profits in less than 18 months.

Most importantly I actively seek to develop members of my team for their own careers sake but also for the future of the business itself. This means I also look for personal development opportunities to ensure my skills are kept up to date."

If you refer to the sample CVs and resumes page on my website, sample resume #1 is for a Chief Engineer. The Key Strengths statement from him might go like this:

"I have very good communication skills and work across all departments to ensure that issues are identified and practical solutions are prepared. Coupled with my project management skills and my hands-on leadership style I am able to consistently deliver and commission projects on time and to budget.

I am focused on internal and external customer's needs, rather than purely functional needs and I apply specialist skills in continuous improvement and world class manufacturing to increase efficiency, reduce waste and losses due to downtime.

As Chief Engineer I have initiated and managed strategic change programmes and implemented effective quality improvement programs all the way through to successful local level implementation. This has led to savings of £750k per annum and helps to maintain the position and financial strength of my employer".

These key strengths statements naturally answer many of the interviewers questions whilst being reassuring in content. You will find though, that they will create new questions for the interviewer, so be aware that you must be able to substantiate everything you claim.

Try working on your own statement using your own words and skills, blending them together to create a strong "key strengths" statement to meet your needs.

You'll be surprised how often you use this one!!

Self Describing Skills - Key Strengths
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Peter Fisher is a Career Coach and author of the popular http://www.Your-Career-Change.com - a website borne out of his passion for helping people discover their true career potential. It offers tips on career change, resume writing, cover letters and interview skills. Perhaps you have a passion or hobby you'd like to write about. Discover how to turn it into a profitable website like Peter has. Visit http://passion.sitesell.com/Careers1.html to learn more.

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Self-Respect - Six Examples of How Learning to Respect Yourself Attracts Respect From Others

Too many people expect to be respected by others when they don't act respectfully themselves. Once you learn to respect yourself, you will attract respect from others. Here are some guidelines for learning self-respect.

"I want him to respect me."

"If people respect me, I'll respect them."

Self-Respect - Six Examples of How Learning to Respect Yourself Attracts Respect From Others

"My kids should respect me (it doesn't matter how I treat them)."

If you don't respect yourself, you'll never respect others.

Self-Respecting People

1. Think about how their behavior affects the people around them

2. Consider what they say before blurting out hurtful words

3. Understand the Golden Rule according to Eugene Brown, LPC (my former supervisor and mentor): Do unto others as they need to be done unto

4. Seek first to understand, then to be understood (Stephen Covey, The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People)

5. Take responsibility for their behavior

6. Let go of the need to hold grudges

Let's look at these six ideas about self-respect:

1. Think about how their behavior effects the people around them

Self-respecting people realize that they don't live in a vacuum; their behavior affects others. They think about what they do and ask themselves, "How will my doing ________ affect the people I care about/my coworkers/others I come in contact with?" They weigh the consequences carefully before acting.

2. Consider what they say before blurting out hurtful words

When self-respecting people engage in disagreements with others, they act diplomatically. Yes, they experience anger just like the rest of us, but they choose their responses instead of allowing a knee-jerk reaction to determine what happens next. They realize that hurtful words won't help their partner understand what is wrong and will harm the relationship.

3. Understand the Golden Rule according to Eugene Brown, LPC (my former supervisor and mentor): Do unto others as they need to be done unto

This ties into understanding that their behavior impacts others. They realize that just because they would like something done a certain way, that others may not agree. They take the time to learn how others need to be treated, rather than just using a "one size fits all" approach.

4. Seek first to understand, then to be understood (Stephen Covey, The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People)

Self-respecting people understand the value of active listening. They know that if people feel understood, then they are more likely to be willing to listen to another person's point of view. Self-respecting people do not try to push their views on others to be understood first. They are willing to work to earn the other person's respect and trust.

5. Take responsibility for their behavior

This means they are willing to admit when they are wrong. They feel comfortable with themselves and don't feel threatened if they make a mistake. Their ego isn't tied up in always needing to be right. This also means that the self-respecting person lets others be responsible for their behavior, letting go of the need to control them or change them.

6. Let go of the need to hold grudges

Self-respecting people realize that when they hold a grudge, they keep themselves locked into anger and resentment. They know they will keep growing as a person when they allow others to be responsible for their behavior instead of holding a grudge to try to make others change.

Self-Respect - Six Examples of How Learning to Respect Yourself Attracts Respect From Others
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If you are worried about the state of your relationship, I want to help. Contact me to schedule a complementary Get Acquainted session. I encourage you to get my free report, "Want to Improve your Marriage? Get Rid of These Seven Deadly Habits" at http://trueloverelationshipcoaching.com. Also, check out http://truelovesavemarriage.com.

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Self-Esteem - 5 Recovery Tips That Can Change Your Life

Self esteem is the way we see ourselves in the universe; how we think about ourselves, and what our internal voice tells us about ourselves. Without help, low self-esteem can spiral into a life of more and more negativity. A person with low self esteem experiences negative self talk and negative beliefs about themselves, which creates a painful existence. When a difficult situation occurs, a person with low self esteem will think they are wrong or bad, whereas a person with healthy self-esteem will think their ok, but recognize the situation was difficult.

Often people with low self esteem seek constant validation from external sources-including work, financial or sexual approval. They are more likely to abuse themselves, and may stay in a physically or emotionally abusive relationships. According to author Caroline Myss, low self esteem can effect every aspect of our lives-our relationships, our income, and our health. I have seen first hand how low self esteem can lead to under earning, debit, obesity or anorexia, and anti-social behavior.

According to the website for Counseling and Mental Health Center at the University of Texas, in Austin, "our self-esteem develops and evolves throughout our lives as we build an image of ourselves through our experiences with different people and activities. Experiences during our childhood play a particularly large role in the shaping of our basic self-esteem". Many times, if we suffer from low self-esteem in childhood, this may plague us into our adolescence and adulthood. If we suffer from negative thoughts about ourselves we can attract negative situations, or when given several options, we may only see a negative solution, because it matches our comfort level.

Self-Esteem - 5 Recovery Tips That Can Change Your Life

I grew up in a loving but chaotic household. My older sister died shortly after birth. My brother was accident prone and constantly needed medical attention. Most likely my father suffered from a personality disorder and my mother suffered from depression. My parents were not able to meet my emotional needs. Low self esteem plagued me in childhood and grew worse during adolescence and early adulthood. I had thoughts of suicide, suffered from an eating disorder, experienced periods of depression, found it difficult to maintain work, and continual recreated my childhood pattern of chaos by frequently moving. Beginning in my late twenties I sought therapy and with help, began to heal my low self-esteem.

Several years ago, I heard that if we are absorbed in low-self esteem, we are as egocentric as if we had an inflated ego. So much of our time is spent dealing with the self absorbed negative thoughts that we cannot be of service to other people. That motivated me, because I'm a spiritual person and want to be able to help others. For the past decade I have studied ways to improve my self-esteem and have been keenly aware of how self esteem issues impact the lives of friends and family. Here are a few tips that have helped.

1. Find something you like about yourself. Let's say you hate your body. Find one thing you can truly say you love about your body. For me, I learned to love my wrists-they are thin and delicate. Eventually, I began to feel a great deal of appreciation for other parts of my body and I came to value my good health. This led to improving my diet, and dressing better, which in turn lead to more productivity and satisfaction in my work life, which lead to more income and opportunities. Also, think about your personality. Find one thing about yourself that's admirable. Are you compassionate, kind, tenacious, or creative? Focus on that one aspect of your personality and watch what happens.

2. Look at what's going well-what you're doing right. Nothing is ever black and white. Ok, let's say you have no job, no home, no friends, poor health, and no money. You still are helping the planet by the release of your carbon dioxides, which feeds the plants. Even if you get fired from a job, look at what you did well while you were employed and focus on that. If you have a job you hate, at least you are working, going through your third or fourth divorce, you've been willing to get involved with another human being. Look at what you're learning. When you're feeling especially bad about yourself, write a list of accomplishments. The list should include everything you've done and ways you've helped others. Items on the list don't need to be big. Maybe you brought a newspaper to your disabled neighbor, didn't scream at your husband when you wanted to, got a lot of filing done at work, or helped your son pick out a shirt...write it down. When your list is complete, you may want to read this to a trusted friend. Seeing a list of accomplishments can help us appreciate ourselves. Also, remember some days it's OK just to suck air. If you are fighting a tough emotional battle, staying alive and sucking air can be a huge accomplishment.

3. Find someone to help or someway to be of service. Recent neurological research indicates that when you give to someone else, a chemical in your brain called dopamine changes. Your brain can't tell if you are giving or receiving, but you feel better. Find simple ways to help other people. Write and post a helpful ezine-article, baby sit a friend's child, give someone a flower, go talk to a shut in, walk dogs for the humane society in your area, or volunteer for a one day community project. When I was suffering from a mild depression, I found the strength to get out of bed because I was taking care of a stray cat. Whenever I had a really bad day, I held onto the fact that this particular stray cat was better off, because I was alive and helping it.

4. Do something you love. People who suffer from low self-esteem frequently punish themselves. Their inner voice may say, "I can't go to the beach I have to get more work done." Ignore the voice and go do something you love. If doing something you love causes a backfire of negative thoughts, do something you love for a short period of time. Maybe spend 15 minutes reading an art magazine, working on a jigsaw puzzle or working on your garden. Sure you have bills to pay, family needs to tend to and there's always work that needs to be done. But you're only spending 15 minutes away from your responsibilities. Expand your pleasure time as you are emotionally able. Observe how much time you can spend having fun before your inner critic voice tries to take over. According to Jim Loehr and Tony Schwartz, authors of "The Power of Full Engagement", learning to have down time actually increases productivity.

5. Give yourself time limits on "Pity Parties". Try to observe the way you speak to yourself. If you find there is and internal voice that wants to point out everything that is bad or wrong about you or your situation, and you cannot seem to stop the negative self talk, allow negative self-talk once a day, but set a time limit. For example, "For the next 15 minutes I gone to think and feel as bad as I can about myself". Have at it. Think of everything you hate about yourself, how your life is a disaster, how you're too fat, thin, poor, lonely, stupid, hopeless, etc. Allow fifteen minutes of negative thinking, but at the end of the 15 minute period stop. When negative thoughts come up again, tell yourself you can't think about it right now, but you'll think about that tomorrow during your fifteen minute pity party. I found this action helpful. Once I allowed my negative voice to reign free, the energy behind it disappeared. Instead of 15 minutes, my pity parties turned into 5 minutes, then 2 minutes, and now I rarely need one. Many times I'd find myself laughing at how ridiculous my negative internal voice was. It put things in perspective and helped me be more present and available throughout the rest of the day.

Recovering from low self-esteem is possible. According to science we shed and recreate the cells of our body. Every seven years, on a cellular level we are a new person! Often, if you have low self esteem, you may have some depression. Many people benefit from using anti-depressants. Check with your physician if your energy is low, you feel indifferent or depressed about life. Speaking with a therapist can also help. Many other actions may be helpful such as exercise, spending time outdoors, changing your diet to be more organic and whole foods based. The recovery process can feel like the "two-step"-two steps forward, and one step back. There will be days when you may feel like you've made no progress. Be gentle with yourself. It takes time to retrain your thought and behavior pattern, but I'm living proof it's possible and worth the effort.

Self-Esteem - 5 Recovery Tips That Can Change Your Life
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Kate Garvey is a former Vet Tech and animal rights supporter. She teaches Sound Healing Workshops (throughout the US) and treats clients by appointment in the San Diego area. For more information on how you can use sound for optimal health please visit http://www.InstituteOfSoundHealing.com

Kate is also a freelance writer, published author, and the author of several books; "Aging, Death and Euthanasia-A Guide for People with Pets", "Summer Pet Care Tips", and "The Low Risk Guide for Real Estate Investment."

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Solution - Focused Therapy

Most types of psychotherapy involve exploring feelings, being validated, finding explanations, exploring wishes and dreams, setting goals, and gaining more clarity. Every therapist has unique ways of working with clients, based on his or her personality, training, and views of how people change.

A solution-focused therapist is likely to do the following:

1. Instead of going over past events and focusing on problems, the therapist helps you envision your future without today's problems.

Solution - Focused Therapy

2. During the course of therapy (often as few as 3 to 6 sessions), the therapist helps you discover solutions.

3. The therapist encourages you to identify and do more of what is already working.

4. The therapist guides you to identify what doesn't work and to focus on doing less of it.

5. The emphasis is on the future, not the past.

6. SFBT therapists believe that the client is the best expert about what it takes to change his or her life.

7. The therapist's role is to help you identify solutions that will remove the barriers to having the life you want.

Solution-Focused Brief Therapy (SFBT) is a process that helps people change by constructing solutions rather than dwelling on problems. This type of therapy tends to be shorter-term than traditional psychotherapy. Steve de Shazer and Insoo Kim Berg of the Brief Family Therapy Center in Milwaukee are the originators of this form of therapy.

The SFBT therapist helps the client identify elements of the desired solution, which are usually already present in the client's life. The client learns to build on these elements, which form the basis for ongoing change. Rather than searching for the causes of the problem, the focus is on defining the changes and making them a reality. The two key therapeutic issues are: (1) how the client wants his or her life to be different, and (2) what it will take to make it happen.

Creating a detailed picture of what it will be like when life is better creates a feeling of hope, and this makes the solution seem possible. The therapist helps the client focus on the future and how it will be better when things change. It is important to develop a set of specific, detailed goals. These goals drive the therapy process and keep it focused and efficient.

Why SFBT Is Usually Short-Term

SFBT therapists don't set out to artificially limit the number of sessions. A good brief therapist will not focus on limiting sessions or time, but rather on helping clients set goals and develop strategies to reach those goals. Focusing on the client's goals and the concrete steps needed to achieve them usually takes less time than traditional therapy, in which the client typically spends many sessions talking about the past and explores reasons and feelings. SFBT therapists aim to provide clients with the most effective treatment in the most efficient way possible so that clients can achieve their goals and get on with their lives. As a result of this focus, the counseling process often requires as few as six sessions.

Types of Problems That SFBT Addresses

Solution-Focused Brief Therapy is an effective way of helping people solve many kinds of problems, including depression, substance abuse, eating disorders, relationship problems, and many other kinds of issues. Since it focuses on the process of change rather than on dissecting the problem, more serious issues do not necessarily require different treatment. The SFBT therapist's job is to help clients transform troubling issues into specific goals and an action plan for achieving them.

In The Miracle Method, authors Scott D. Miller and Insoo Kim Berg describe how to create solutions with these steps:

1. State your desire for something in your life to be different.

2. Envision that a miracle happens and your life is different.

3. Make sure the miracle is important to you.

4. Keep the miracle small.

5. Define the change with language that is positive, specific, concrete, and behavioral.

6. State how you will start your journey rather than how you will end it.

7. Be clear about who, where, and when, but not why.

Signs That You Should Consider Seeing a Therapist

There are several ways to know when you would be doing yourself a favor by finding a licensed, professional therapist to work with.

1. You've tried several things on your own, but you still have the problem.

2. You want to find a solution sooner rather than later.

3. You have thoughts of harming yourself or others.

4. You have symptoms of depression, anxiety, or another disorder that significantly interfere with your daily functioning and the quality of your life. For example, you have lost time from work, your relationships have been harmed, or your health is suffering. These are signs that you need the help of a trained, licensed professional.

Solution - Focused Therapy
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Garrett Coan, MSW, LCSW is Founder and Director of the Center for Creative Counseling, a team of expert and licensed therapists and coaches providing phone and internet counseling services to clients throughout the United States and worldwide. To arrange a no-obligation, complimentary consultation, call 1-877-958-4769 or visit them on the Web at http://www.creativecounselors.com

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Achievement Motivation

Over the years, behavioral scientists have noticed that some people have an intense desire to achieve something, while others may not seem that concerned about their achievements. This phenomenon has attracted a lot of discussions and debates. Scientists have observed that people with a high level of achievement motivation exhibit certain characteristics. Achievement motivation is the tendency to endeavor for success and to choose goal oriented success or failure activities.

Achievement motivation forms to be the basic for a good life. People who are oriented towards achievement, in general, enjoy life and feel in control. Being motivated keeps people dynamic and gives them self-respect. They set moderately difficult but easily achievable targets, which help them, achieve their objectives. They do not set up extremely difficult or extremely easy targets. By doing this they ensure that they only undertake tasks that can be achieved by them. Achievement motivated people prefer to work on a problem rather than leaving the outcome to chance. It is also seen that achievement motivated people seem to be more concerned with their personal achievement rather than the rewards of success.

It is generally seen that achievement motivated people evidenced a significantly higher rate of advancement in their company compared to others. Programs and courses designed, involves seven "training inputs." The first step refers to the process through which achievement motivation thinking is taught to the person. The second step helps participants understand their own individuality and goals. The third assist participants in practicing achievement-related actions in cases, role-plays, and real life. A fourth refers to practicing of achievement-related actions in business and other games. A fifth input encourages participants to relate the achievement behavior model to their own behavior, self-image, and goals. The sixth program facilitates participants to develop a personal plan of action. Finally, the course provides participants with feedback on their progress towards achieving objectives and targets.

Achievement Motivation

Achievement motivation as a branch of study has greatly established its prominence. A number of companies are now training their employees in the same.

Achievement Motivation
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Motivation provides detailed information on Motivation, Daily Motivation, Employee Motivation, Motivation Posters and more. Motivation is affiliated with Christian Motivational Speakers.

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12 Things You Can Do To Stop Being Self-Centered

It can be easy to become self-centered and I can easily see why so many people become so engrossed in doing things for their own self interest.

Whether it is money you are after or climbing the corporate ladder, being self-centered seems to be the logical approach to getting what you want.

But you must remember this - if it is money you want, or that promotion, or that project you need to complete, you ultimately will have to rely on other people and people will be less willing to work with you if you are self centered.

12 Things You Can Do To Stop Being Self-Centered

You will also find that if you are self-centered, there will be no one there to help you in your time of need when you need assistance the most.

So here are 12 ways you can combat self-centeredness:

1) Really Listen

Really listen to what others are saying and try to absorb anything they tell you. This may seem like common sense, but when some of us are in a conversation, we are just hearing the words people are saying and not really understanding or listening.

Try to remember the things that are going on in others lives. Nothing is worse than asking the same questions to the same person each and every time you meet.

Think about it - how would you feel if every time you met a particular person, they have to ask you what you did for a living? To me, I'd feel as though they really never cared about what I was telling them the first time and that they were probably more concerned about themselves.

2) Offer To Help

If you can afford the time and effort, you should always try to offer help. Perhaps a neighbor or a family member is installing hardwood floors or installing a new garage door - offer to help.

Even things like offering to drive someone to the airport or offering to pick something up for them without being asked will make you really come across as someone who looks out after others.

These little offers to help go a long in building lasting relationships and even though they may be small favors, to others, it will feel as though you are going out of your way to help.

Normally whenever I tell others I'm doing something (like painting a bedroom) and someone offers to help, I usually decline the offer - but in the back of my mind, I'm very appreciative of their willingness to help. Those offers to help me don't go unnoticed and I will usually be the first to come to the aid for those who have offered help in the past.

3) Be Humble

Got a brand new big screen TV or a new antique vase? Don't brag and don't bring it up unless others ask about it, and even when they do ask, you don't have to make it out to be such a big thing.

Instead, let that new big screen TV or that antique vase do the talking for you. There is no need to point it out to others or to add further commentary lest you wish to make yourself seem more materialistic and more egotistical than you really are.

If all you do is talk about how expensive or how high the quality of your brand new TV is, you'll not only turn off your audience, but you will also lose the intended effect the TV was supposed to have in the first place because others will begin to think "who cares?".

4) Don't Compare Yourself To Others

The Jones' got a new car? A new living room set? A new BBQ set?

These are the kinds of things that can lead to jealousy if you are constantly comparing yourself to others. By constantly trying to keep up with the Jones', you will slowly start doing everything and anything to keep up or to get a step ahead of them.

Are you one step ahead of the Jones'?

Well then there's no reason for you to tell everyone that you are one up on them because if you do, this will just aggravate the situation and will only promote more of this competitive behavior by the "Jones".

Instead, just be happy for the "Jones" - there's no need to show who's better than the other because in the end when you die, it wouldn't have mattered anyway.

5) Get A Compliment, Give A Compliment

When someone gives you a compliment, give a compliment back to them.

It should be a great honor in itself to receive a compliment from someone and one of the best ways to thank them for the compliment is to give one back in return.

As an example, if someone says something like "You're a good husband", then come right back with something like "Well, I'm not as good as your husband! He's much more ______ than me!". You will be surprised at how well received your "rebound" compliment is taken.

In fact, this will encourage them (as well as others) to compliment you more often on the things you do well and perhaps even on things that you hadn't even thought of. You will find that these compliments will only encourage you in everything that you do and will give the impression that you are thinking of others and that you are not just thinking about yourself.

6) Remember To Always Give Thanks

Whenever someone helps you, offers you things, or gives you things, always remember to thank them. Even if it's a small insignificant thing, saying "Thank You" shows your appreciation.

Sometimes it may be wise to even go a little out of your way to show your appreciation. Things like taking someone out for dinner as thanks for something they did helps show how genuine your "thanks" really meant to them.

The last thing you want is to be thought of as being ungrateful because the more ungrateful you appear, the less people will be willing to do things for you.

7) Give Praise

If you talk about other people, try to praise them and keep negativity out of the conversation. Doing this will show the strength of your character because you aren't negative about other people behind their backs.

Spread a little positivity when it comes to discussing other coworkers or neighbors and you will come out on top as a positive person. Before you know it, everyone will want to work with you or have healthy discussions with you.

If all you do is criticize or bad mouth others, people will begin to get the impression that you think you are better than everyone else and if word gets around about what you've been talking about, more and more people are bound to start talking about YOU behind YOUR back.

8) Whatever Actions You Take, Think Of Others And Not Just Yourself

If it's more money you are after, don't just think of it as having more money for yourself - instead think of the financial security this extra money can provide for your family and how you'll be able to share the fruits of your labor with your friends.

Whatever it is that you do and whatever actions you take, don't do it just to accomplish a self-serving goal - think of how it could be of benefit to others.

By having this mentality, you are bound to find others that are willing to help you and aid you in your cause. Not only that, the actions you take will be done for the greater good of many and will be much more rewarding once your goals are accomplished.

9) Keep An Open Mind

Uncle Ted declared bankruptcy again? Your cousin is pregnant out of wedlock again? Your friend Joe has been fired for the 5th time this year?

Before you start gossiping to others about the goings on about these poor individuals, stop and really have an open mind when thinking about their situations. Put yourself in their shoes instead of thinking that you are better than them.

I'd venture to guess that some folks would probably be delighted to hear such grim news about other people because it makes them feel better about themselves...they'll start thinking "I'm glad it's not me", or even "Ha, look at his situation, I'm at least nowhere near his level of incompetence".

Also think about how you would feel if something bad happened to you? If you are the gossiping type and something bad happened to you, I can guarantee you that others will be talking about it and I wouldn't be surprised if others were happy that it happened to you. After all, you did the same things to them, didn't you?

10) Be Genuinely Concerned About Others

If you hear someone was involved in a car accident or that a coworker is sick, be genuinely concerned about them. Even if you've never met the person in question, your main concern should be those whose lives they touched.

Ask if they are alright and ask if there is anything you can do to help. Treat everyone as though they are family - when you care about others, others will care about you.

By expressing your concern in this manner, you are letting others know that their concerns are also your concerns - something that is highly valued by most people.

11) Involve Others In Your Plans

If you are planning a road trip or even just a simple BBQ at home, ask if others would like to join. This will really show that you like the company of others and that you are willing to share your experiences with them.

Don't think of how that road trip or that BBQ as something that should only be enjoyed you - instead think of it as being shared and enjoyed by those around you. Besides, the more the merrier and I'm sure you'll have a much better time in a group than by yourself.

Whenever we've been invited to a road trip or even a vacation by other couples, I felt honored to have been included in their plans, even though I know that they'd probably much rather spend that romantic vacation on their own.

12) Be A Good Host

Whenever you have guests over, be a good host. Make your guests feel as though your home is their home and above all else, make them feel welcomed.

Remember to do the usual - ask if they want a drink, if they'd like to snack on anything, if you can put away their coat. This makes others feel as though you are putting their comfort before your own comfort.

It is that repeated concern for others that people will remember and will help make it less likely they will think of you as being self-centered.

12 Things You Can Do To Stop Being Self-Centered
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Jeff is an day trader who yearns to live the life of his dreams. He has a plan to get there and publishes articles related to his journey. Topics include goal setting, self improvement, law of attraction, travel, and personal power. For more articles, please visit "A Journey Of Dreams" at [http://www.ajourneyofdreams.com]

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Self-Talk Bible Affirmations - The Power of Your Spoken Word

Using self-talk Bible affirmations is the practice of speaking the Word of God over yourself, and others, in a supportive, positive way. Self-talk Bible affirmations aren't a new thing as some might think. Positive self talk has been around as long as the Bible itself!

Around 950 B.C. the famous, wealthy and incredibly wise King Solomon is recorded as saying: "DEATH AND LIFE are in the POWER OF THE TONGUE, and those who love it will eat its fruit." (Proverbs 18:21 NKJV). Here, King Solomon explains for all time that our words have power! And it is up to us to use the power of Self-talk Bible affirmations for the benefit of life, not death.

Then, nearly 1,000 years later, another great King affirmed the wisdom of Solomon to an even greater degree. Jesus Christ said: "A good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth good things, and an evil man out of evil treasure brings forth evil things... FOR BY YOUR WORDS you will be justified, and BY YOUR WORDS you will be condemned." (Matthew 12:35-37 NKJV). Clearly these two great kings recognized the tremendous weight and power of the WORDS that come out of our mouths! How is it that something as seemingly small and harmless as our tongue has the power of LIFE and DEATH? And what are the implications of this power when it comes to self-talk Bible affirmations?

Self-Talk Bible Affirmations - The Power of Your Spoken Word

The Bible tells us that we are made in the image of God and we know from Scripture that God uses His words in order to create and bring things into existence. Likewise, we are encouraged to use our words to promote life and bring good things into existence for ourselves and others. The Bible assures us that the power of our words is real - and has lasting consequences. From these Bible verses, and others, it is clear that the words we speak are very important! This would include self-talk Bible affirmations.

The Scriptures encourage us to use the words we speak with wisdom, prudence and caution. What is interesting is that spoken words exist in the UNSEEN REALM. You don't have to convince yourself to believe in the power of words because we all know this power exists. We cannot see the things we speak; yet we can feel the power of words and see their effects in our lives. The same is true when we regularly use self-talk Bible affirmations.

The words that we speak and hear are so powerful that it's NO SECRET that positive self-talk affirmations are used by many to help them achieve success in the world of sports, business, entertainment, politics, and so on. Just about any person who has enjoyed great personal achievement has utilized, to some degree, the power of positive self-talk, positive affirmations, positive expectation or positive mental imagery. Since the Bible speaks so much on this subject and we can plainly see the fruits of this principle in everyday life, we can only conclude that it must be a true spiritual law: Life and death are in the power of the tongue. This universal principle of the power of the spoken word applies to all people, from all walks of life, in whatever manner they choose to use it (for positive or negative).

If successful achievers understand the power of positive self-talk affirmations, shouldn't we take a cue from them and harness the power of positive self-talk and Bible affirmations for our own daily lives? If the greatest spiritual book of all time (the Bible) tells us that LIFE and DEATH are in the power of the tongue, shouldn't we take this timeless wisdom and properly use our words for the purpose of life and blessing?

I invite you today to join me transforming negative talk into something that is positive and life-giving for yourself and the world around you. If you don't know how to start using self-talk Bible affirmations, "Self-Talk from the Scriptures" is a great tool for anyone who would like to benefit from listening to positive self-talk and Bible affirmations (to help renew the mind) while being inspired to use passages from the Bible to speak and life and blessing over yourself and others.

Self-Talk Bible Affirmations - The Power of Your Spoken Word
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Princess Surjopolos is an entrepreneur, business coach and the creator of "Self-Talk from the Scriptures" Bible affirmation programs. These programs combine the effectiveness of "positive self-talk" with the power and inspiration of Bible promises. These programs are comforting, uplifting and help the listener to "renew their minds" with the Word of God.

Each CD features approximately 50 minutes of Bible verse readings with soothing instrumental hymns in the background. The listener can enjoy hundreds of Bible affirmations while walking, relaxing or retiring for the night.

These programs are being enjoyed by Christians of all ages and walks of life from all over the world. Try one yourself for FREE! Visit http://www.BeRenewed.com for more information or to claim your free sample (while supplies last).

(c) Copyright 2011, Princess LaVear Surjopolos. All Rights Reserved Worldwide.

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How to Become More Confident - 10 Ways to Build Your Confidence

What is confidence, if not the difference between feeling like the sky's the limit and the world is out to get you? Having enough self-confidence can often be the "make or break" deal when it comes to securing a job, striking a business deal or even a matter as simple as asking someone out on a date. The key to successfully becoming more confident about yourself is how others perceive you through your own self-perception. Yes, this means, if you see yourself as an attractive, capable and energetic person, the others will see you the same way too.

Of course, there are many factors beyond your control in this world, but there are also many things that you can do on your own to give yourself more confident in preparation to go "get the gold". Follow these 10 tips for how to become more confident instantly, and you'll be able to face the world without worries.

Dress To Impress

How to Become More Confident - 10 Ways to Build Your Confidence

No, it's not cliché. Your appearance matters most to you and if you feel unattractive or dowdy, you'll give out that perception to the world. Dress smartly, not just by concentrating on your clothes, but also by paying attention to proper grooming. If you can't afford to buy expensive clothes all the time, don't. Cut the buying in half, but spend twice as much as you would normally, to buy high-quality clothes. In the long run, this reduces your expenditure on clothes, because high-quality clothing lasts longer and give a better impression,.

Brisk Walking

People who are confident walk faster and more energetically, because they feel important enough to hurry from place to place. They have people to meet, places to go to and have generally have a full agenda. So, even if you are in no hurry, add a little sprint to your walk and you'll instantly feel very confident and purposeful.

Good Posture

Remember the days when our grandmothers would yell at us to "stand up straight and don't slouch"? Well, they had a good reason to do so. A person without any confidence can be spotted a mile away because of the way they carry themselves - never looking up, huddled and ambling along, it's quite apparent they don't see any importance in what they are doing.

Advertise Yourself

Not literally, of course. Record or write a small speech about your positive attributes and read it or listen to it whenever you feel down and low. It's a great way to give yourself some confidence boosting.

Focus On Gratitude

The more you think about what you don't have, the less confident you'll become. Instead, always focus on what you do have, the positive sides of your appearance, character and abilities. Feel gratitude towards what you've been given and able to achieve.

Compliment Other People

We tend to project our negative feelings towards ourselves through insulting others and gossiping about them. Refuse to engage in such time-wasting activity and instead, start complimenting everything good about any person. When you look for the best in others, you'll gradually be able to see the best in yourself too.

Go Right To The Front

Whether you are at a lecture, conference or even church, if you have the tendency to go sit at the back, you are afraid to be noticed. This is a baseless fear, so take courage and go right to the front of an assembly.

Speak Up

Hiding like a mouse while in open discussions? Don't; speak up, join in the conversation. Unlike your belief, you won't say anything stupid. Most people battle with this notion in fear of public speaking, but it has not real cause, because unless you speak up, your issues will never get resolved. Public speaking will always contribute to increasing your confidence.

Exercise

Boost your energy by working out at least 3 times a week. It'll give you the energy and the "looking-good" confidence, so you can face the world with your head held high.

Contribute To Society

All too often, we as humans, are wallowing in self pity and desire. By concentrating on helping others and making a difference other people's lives, you have less time to think about your own self-perceived faults, which in turn helps to build confidence.

How to Become More Confident - 10 Ways to Build Your Confidence
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Get more help on how to build self confidence and watch your confidence levels skyrocket!

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